Winkus, Blinkus, What Could Possibly Go Wrong?
by Manchester
Summary: Yet another entry in the Descendants' visit to the Scooby Gang and the Hellmouth.


_This is through and through a fairy tale story_  
 _With most definitely ginormous family issues_  
 _You should the whole time of this allegory_  
 _Keep handy a box (scented if you must) of tissues_

 _Not to dry away copious tears of approval and sorrow_  
 _Caused by sympathetic pains of your kind heart_  
 _Or a redhead stage kid screeching about tomorrow_  
 _But for mopping up drinks spewed from your nasal part_

 _'Tis ye author's second take on Descendants, you fish stick_  
 _To eschew confusion, please note an avoidance of article_  
 _Unused first in the main title of this House of Mouse flick_  
 _Unlike Clooney's Hawaii drama where adultery is surprisal_

 _Before, a girl found a father and a dad met his bedmate_  
 _The younger was elated and the lady was truly homicidal_  
 _Now, though, it starts all over, when Xander & Co. instigate_  
 _The latest bout of chaos to engulf poor, innocent Sunnydale_

* * *

When the bedroom door opened that morning, the near-immortal warrior woman's spirit in her current slumbering host ignored it, already aware that the person entering was fully trusted as only family could be by Buffy Summers. Or quite possibly Sineya knew beforehand what was to come and decided to sit back and maliciously enjoy every bit of the imminent havoc.

With a vicious swing of a pair of arms, the bucket of ice water kept all night in the refrigerator was launched as an intact globule of low-temperature liquid which sailed across the room and made a direct splash onto Buffy's dozing countenance.

"GAAAAHHHHH!" shrieked Buffy, blasted into rapid consciousness and levitating straight from her horizontal posture to stand atop her soaked mattress with her head just inches from the ceiling, the top bed sheet and comforter flying off in various directions. Pawing at her dripping face where her hair had just been saturated with chilly water, Buffy finally cleared her vision sufficiently to see who'd just drenched this Slayer.

An angry beyond belief Dawn Summers dropped the empty bucket onto the bedroom floor and advanced towards her sister's bed, pointing a stiff finger right at a dumbfounded older sibling. She then roared at Buffy, "SIT DOWN AND SHUT THE HELL UP UNTIL I FINISH!"

Buffy couldn't help gawking at how Dawn looked like as never before, girded with righteous wrath. Her voice was also exactly that of Mom when one or both of her kids had just provoked this Summers woman into a rare eruption of maternal displeasure. That memory instantly made Buffy's knees give so that she dropped down on her butt, bouncing onto the doused mattress and feeling her pajama bottoms promptly become damp as a result.

Still pointing at Buffy while halting at the foot of the bed, Dawn grimly informed her, "We've got guests from the Disney Dimension."

It was way too early in the morning for this.

"Huh?" was about all that Buffy could manage in response.

Finally changing her accusing gesture to instead fold her arms across her chest just as ominously, Dawn snapped, "Yeah, that's the best description we've come up so far for them and their home dimension. Somehow, all the animated full-length films from that studio, starting with _Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs_ to _Tarzan_ actually happened in real life around the same time. There were a lot of differences, though, such as some characters surviving at the endings instead of being killed off. Anyway, that's where Xander landed after jumping into Glory's portal."

The whole awful memories came rushing back for Buffy. Seeing her friend vanish into that dimensional gateway but never finding his body; thinking him stuck in someplace hellish or dead; and then after he nonetheless turned up yesterday at the Revello house, almost killing him with her Slayer strength simply because she mistook Xander for an imposter.

Turning white, Buffy swayed on her bed. Her impending faint was headed off by Dawn quickly informing Buffy, "Hey, none of that! He's okay, but first you're gonna hear the whole story so you don't go off half-cocked like you did before! We clear on this?"

Recovering a little, Buffy nodded. That seemed to satisfy Dawn, who continued.

"Well, like I said, all the Disney movies happened except for some changes. The biggest was that most of the villains stuck around afterwards, and they teamed up to try to take over a bunch of kingdoms that became one country named Auradon. They failed and got magically exiled to a little island just off the coast of Auradon. From all accounts, it was and still is a pretty crummy place called by its residents the Isle of the Lost. Everything happened close to twenty years ago, which is when Xander arrived at Auradon."

Observing that this time Buffy received this mention of Xander a bit better, Dawn went on.

"As you can figure, a lot of people there were familiar with enchantments and could do really impressive stuff with it, but nobody Xander talked to knew how to send him back to Sunnydale."

Pausing at this point, Buffy watched with growing confusion how Dawn was beginning to deeply blush.

Avoiding Buffy's eye, Dawn's next statements came out in something of a hurry. "He, uh, didn't take that news too well, and went on a bender at the nearest bar. There, he met a woman who got really interested in his story, and, er, other things, I guess, so they spent the night together."

Around then, you could've fried eggs on the tops of Dawn's scarlet ears.

"You met the result, the girl who completely wiped the floor with you after you hit Xander. Her name's Mal, a shortened version of her mom's name."

Closing her eyes to touch her wet temples and rub these with her fingertips, Buffy was evidently recollecting things she'd far prefer not to remember. All too soon, she opened her eyes to glance with some trepidation at Dawn.

"Mal, Mal… Oh, come on, you can't be serious! _Maleficent?!_ "

Even when Dawn nodded, Buffy went on protesting. "The really scary witch from _Sleeping Beauty_ who made everyone take a good nap for a hundred years? I had nightmares at six years old the first time I saw her change into that huge dragon!"

Dawn looked then as if she was about to say something regarding that last, only to prudently refrain from this.

Buffy groaned and held her head. "Wait a second…there were a couple others out on the porch…"

Clearing her throat, Dawn had to agree. "Yeah, it's not exactly like you had time for introductions." Wilting a trifle under Buffy's sudden glare, her younger sister hastily started over.

"Mal's BFF is Evie. She's the one with the blue hair."

"And…?"

Dawn sighed. "Her mom's the Evil Queen from _Snow White._ "

"Of course," gritted Buffy. "What about the guys I saw?"

Brightening up a little, Dawn gushed, "Oh, there's Carlos. He's a real cutie, even though you have to avoid using the d-word around him."

That had Buffy stare Dawn with honest bewilderment. "The what word?"

"Dogs. To be fair, his mom always told him they were horrible, boy-devouring things—"

Buffy just lifted an eyebrow.

"Cruella de Vil from _One Hundred and One Dalmatians._ "

Despite herself, Buffy had to ask. "Is that hair for real?"

"Carlos says so for both him and his mom," Dawn shrugged. "He doesn't understand why people keep wanting to know about it, though."

Waving this aside, Buffy brought up the final person to be identified. "What about Mister Yummy Brown Sugar?"

Dawn gawked at her big sis. "You had maybe just two seconds to check him out and you still remember…? Fine, that's Jay. Word of advice — and this was from his _friends_ — you shake hands with him, you better count your fingers afterwards."

"Jay, Jay," Buffy muttered under her breath. She finally shook her head. "Okay, you got me. What's his parental deal?"

Dawn sighed again. "Jafar the vizier from _Aladdin._ He runs a pawnshop now at the Isle of the Lost."

Buffy sent a very cold look at Dawn. "And we – to be more specific, _you_ \- invited all of them to stay here?"

That began to put Dawn's back up once more against Buffy. She grumped, "It's not like they had anywhere else to go! Mal and Evie shared Mom's room last night, and the guys stayed in the basement. Giles took Xander home for Willow and Tara to cast some healing spells on him."

Buffy cringed at being reminded again of what'd she done to Xander. In the middle of this, a sudden thought struck the Slayer, one which was still sufficiently important to divert Buffy from her shame.

Frowning at Dawn, Buffy wanted to know, "Hold it! You said Xan wound up at this Audubon place almost twenty years ago, and his kid's around that age, too. But he doesn't look any different now than he did just last Wednesday!"

Lowering her boiling temper to a medium simmer, Dawn tersely replied, "That came up, yeah. What happened was, Xander joined a rebel band trying to bring down Maleficent, and they invaded her castle. She did a magic whammy on him then to turn Xander into a full-size stone statue. Mal's mom kept him around as a kind of souvenir but never told her kid about it when she was growing up. About seventeen years later, all the magic wore off – both Maleficent's spell and what Xander picked up from going through Glory's portal – and he changed back to normal, along with now being able to return home with the Fairy Godmother's help."

Buffy had been listening in something of a daze to all that new information. When Dawn finished, the older Summers sibling carefully repeated the part she was really having trouble accepting: "The…Fairy Godmother."

"Yes," Dawn confirmed.

"Are we talking about the same one with the—"

"Yes!" Dawn snappishly repeated. "The pumpkin coach, the dress, and all that! Who cares? Because, right now, you're going to dry off, fix your hair, get dressed, have breakfast, and then we're going to Giles' for you to apologize to Xander! Not to mention to his daughter and her friends also there, who really don't like you either!"

Buffy Summers appeared then as if she'd far rather take on Glory again with one hand tied behind her back and a complete ban on the whole quippage thing.

* * *

Dragging her feet along the outside stairs to Giles' apartment building, Buffy desperately tried to think of anything at hand to delay the big blow-up between the Scoobies about to happen in there. Fortunately, there was—

"Hey, has anyone heard from Anya yet?"

Without looking over her shoulder at Buffy, Dawn curtly replied, "No. Xan wasn't thrilled about her leaving, like you might expect. The best thing we can hope for is that she calls us soon, because nobody knows where to find her."

Buffy blinked. "Can't Wils and Tara do the witchy stuff with a locator spell or a magic message to tell her the good news about Xander's return?"

"They tried. Problem is, even if she's human now, Anya's former vengeance demon job still works in keeping her hidden fairly well from those kinds of things. Tara's still recovering from what Glory did to her and Willow won't do anything to spoil that, so they can't boost those spells enough to break through these protections without maybe hurting them both. Xander completely agreed and told Wils to hold off on that for now. It still leaves us with Anya doing it on her end to contact someone here. If you pick up our phone with her on the line, tell her about Xan right away."

"Uh…," Buffy trailed off now that they were in front of the apartment's door, her stomach beginning to churn from stress. "Does that include the part where he came back with a teenage daughter?"

Shooting her panic-stricken sister an unyielding glower, Dawn declared, "You can ask Xander himself about this." She rang the doorbell.

A few seconds later, Tara opened the door. She bestowed a shy smile upon Dawn and a slightly more critical expression towards Buffy, who knew she was really in trouble now. If _Tara_ actually thought she'd screwed up, it was a clear sign this Slayer had done something close to unforgiveable.

Stepping aside while holding the door ajar, Tara like every Sunnydaler in the know didn't voice an invitation to enter even if it was broad daylight outside. Dawn and Buffy entered the apartment into the living room, where seven people instantly stopped their conversations and looked at the pair of sisters who'd just joined them.

Now beginning to genuinely sweat, Buffy glanced around the room. There were the four young strangers, all of them with unfriendly expressions (particularly the purple-haired girl), Giles polishing his glasses, a disapproving Willow, and Xander seated on the main couch…

Striding forwards on stiff legs, Buffy stopped in front of Xander warily looking up at her. His gaze in a still-bruised face had to then fall to match Buffy's descent when she collapsed onto her knees, wrapped her arms around his lower legs, and pressed her forehead against the young man's own knees.

"I'm sorry," whispered Buffy, who then repeated this again in a louder tone. "I'm sorry!"

The room's other occupants next heard Buffy Summers presumably unable to stop herself, "I'm sorry! I'm sorry! I'm sorry!"

Concerned looks were traded between people when they began listening to these same words intermixed with growing sobs. "I'm— Sorry! I'm, I'm— Sorry! Sorry! Sorry! Sorrrrr…"

That turned into actual worry when Buffy stopped making comprehensible sounds and simply began to heartbrokenly wail, all while clinging to Xander's legs. It was all too much for the Slayer. The incredible strain of the last couple of weeks of Glory hunting for the Key, Dawn's revelation of being created as a human by the Monks of Dagon's memory-altering spell, and finally during the last battle the deaths of Spike and Xander had at last the tremendous emotional debt coming due for Buffy Summers.

Still reeling from her extreme misery, Buffy barely felt herself being lifted by strong arms into Xander's embrace, much less how a teary-eyed dawn also joined them in their hug on the couch. A frantic wave from Dawn brought Tara in, with Willow taking a hasty moment at where Giles was chivvying their shocked younger guests out the door to hand him her new cell phone.

A rapid rush of instructions from her had Giles tucking away the phone into a jacket pocket and closing the door after the sight of Willow sprinting to join in the latest Scooby support group.

"What was all that about back there?" came from a wondering Evie a few minutes later when their gang and Mr. Giles eventually wound up at a small city park deserted save for themselves.

Sighing, Mr. Giles went over to the nearest park bench, where he was joined by Mal and Evie on both sides of the older man, with the boys plopping themselves down on the ground in front of the bench. They all watched him perform again the habit they'd become quite familiar with by now, polishing with his handkerchief his glasses.

Placing these glasses back onto his nose, Mr. Giles solemnly regarded Mal. "Your father brought Buffy back from the dead when he saved her after she was drowned in a master vampire's cave."

An exceedingly cold expression momentarily flashed over the Englishman's visage. "Another vampire named Angelus taunted me about that, during my, ah, encounter with him. He also mentioned some other things, such as how Xander faced him down in the hospital where the Slayer was too sick to fight effectively against that demon. That's only _two_ of the many other heroics which I'm aware of concerning Xander over the years we've spent protecting Sunnydale."

"That still don't explain why she decked him yesterday or her whole meltdown today back there," Jay tactlessly pointed out.

This earned him an even more disdainful look from the old dude, whom Jay had earlier learned not to mess with when caught in the act of rummaging through the apartment contents for pilfering the odd trinket or two. An instant grab of your neck and being yanked nose-to-nose with someone definitely capable of kicking your ass at that moment along with the icy warning of "Behave, you wanker" made Jay decide for once to knock it off.

Still glaring at that little pillock with the sticky fingers, Rupert Giles told them all, "Buffy's worse fear isn't failing as the Slayer. It's getting her friends killed. She tried to force Xander out of our group some time ago because she was genuinely worried he couldn't protect himself and deserved a safer life. Mr. Harris proved Buffy quite wrong since then, but when he disappeared into Glory's portal, all of us were distraught at our loss. Buffy, however, was affected far much more because she remained convinced it was entirely her fault. She does have something of a tendency for feeling guilty and lashing out at times, which probably resulted in her harmful action against Xander when he showed up on her porch along with all of you."

The small gathering in the park became quiet while they thought this over. Mal herself found the unfavorable opinion she'd been maintaining about that little blond bitch who'd hit Daddy was reluctantly changing once she'd heard Mr. Giles' explanation. Maleficent's daughter knew all about life's pressures forcing you to act in ways you'd normally never contemplate.

In fact… Mal frowned, unnoticed by the others. So far, none of them had even mentioned if they felt as she did, how nothing less than the Hellmouth itself was giving her a mental itch every single second. She could even sense from which direction it was radiating that staggeringly evil atmosphere. Totally weird, right? Maybe it was just as well her friends weren't being affected like this. Their own parents were pretty down with the whole wickedness bit along with the rest of the Isle of the Lost residents, but _nobody_ could match Mom when she really got going.

Putting up with that her whole life was probably the reason why Mal wasn't having any trouble holding off the Hellmouth's temptations. What was making Mal sort of uneasy was the concern that Mom might've thought otherwise. She'd been unusually amendable to sending off their daughter with the same man who'd knocked up the Mistress of All Evil years ago, after all. Truth be told, it had all the hallmarks of one of Mom's wackier schemes. Maybe Mal was supposed to succumb to that dumb enticement, turn into some Dark Lady with an even stupider-looking hat than what Maleficent considered the height of fashion, and ruuuuuuuule the world.

Not.

 _Any_ of it.

Especially the hat.

She liked Dad. She liked his acquired family even if they weren't related by blood. Mr. Giles was stuffy in a distinctly charming way, but he could still show off serious badassery as demonstrated by his effortless smackdown of Jay. Tara was so nice, and her girlfriend Willow had hidden depths of magical power among all the babble and cookie-baking. As for Dawn…

Mal had a sister now. Well, a half-sister, to be accurate. Dad told her that right off during their first long talk before coming here. How magic had turned a glowing ball of mystical energy into a delightful human girl while using a certain Sunnydale native for the male biological requirements. Frankly, Mal had experienced stranger things first-hand. Making it even more fun was how the Scooby Gang was taken aback at how the Descendants, one and all, could 'see' Dawn's magical nature…and completely took it for granted.

That really endeared Mal, Evie, Carlos, and even Jay to Dawn. This Summers sister had happily plunged into hours-long discussions with them all at the Revello house over their bizarre lives. Dawn busily made new friends who actually understood her, while the older sibling remained fast asleep upstairs recovering from Mal's blasting her unconscious with an enchantment as payback for hitting Daddy.

Mal's attention was soon drawn back to how Mr. Giles was telling even more stories about Xander Harris in Sunnydale to the rest of the Descendants. Some of this she'd already heard from Dad, but there was a lot more stuff he hadn't mentioned. Names like Mayor Wilkins, Faith Lehane, and Principal Snyder engrossed Mal and the others for a while, which was probably Giles' intended purpose.

Eventually, a ringing came from the former Sunnydale High librarian's jacket pocket. Fumbling out Willow's phone from there, Mr. Giles regarded this electronic item with evident confusion over what to do next with this. Uttering an exasperated sigh as only female teenagers can, Evie snatched the phone out of Giles' hand and expertly tapped the proper button while holding the phone to her ear.

The rest of the watching onlookers then heard from Evie, "Hi, Willow… Yeah, everyone's here… Great!... We'll be there in a couple minutes."

Handing back the phone to an irked Mr. Giles, Evie told him and the rest, "Things have been patched up at your house. They want to see us—" Pausing to nervously eye Mal, Evie started over.

"Well, Mal, mostly you. Your dad says Buffy wants to apologize, and would you please let her?"

"I'll think about it," Mal answered sharply. She still got off the park bench with the other two and was joined by Jay and Carlos when they all went together on the short return trip to Mr. Giles' apartment.

This older man opened the front door and held it ajar for all the rest to enter his house. Mal was the second person inside, and she stalked to where Dad was still on the couch with the Summers sisters. Willow and Tara were in their own chairs at the couch's left-hand side, but Mal didn't look at them or even at the others behind now standing there. Instead, she fixed her gaze directly towards Buffy arising from the couch. Coming to a halt in front of the other girl, Mal did the first magic trick she'd been taught by Mom.

Mal's eyes glowed a fierce green.

Except, save for a slightly lifted brow, this didn't seem to disconcert Buffy all that much. She instead stuck out her hand which came accompanied by a fervent, "I want you to know that I'm really sorry about hitting Xander. Can you please forgive me?"

Still maintaining her glowing vision, Mal's intent stare became actually vicious by narrowing her eyes almost closed into dangerous-appearing slits. She threateningly rasped, "Just so you always remember: you ever lay a finger on him again, I'll turn you into something a lot shorter with, warts, green skin and a foot-long tongue before dropping you on top of a pond's lily pad."

Still holding out her hand to be shaken, a honest smile transformed Buffy's tired face into real enjoyment. Calling over her shoulder, the Slayer said, "Yeah, she's your kid, Xan. Stubborn and really knows how to hold a grudge."

Snorting with a hint of admiration lurking in that sound on how her recent bit of intimidation had just been received, Mal thrust out her own hand for herself and Buffy to give each other a firm handshake.

Throughout the living room, various held breaths were thankfully released at how things had resolved themselves so well. Maybe the following days of the Descendants' visit to Sunnydale would be a lot more peaceful—

Oh, come on. This was the Boca del Infierno, and events there didn't ever work out that way.

Case in point, what had occurred just before sunrise today in one of the town's many cemeteries…

* * *

Kicked open by one dainty toe of her best pair of shoes, Harmony Kendall strode past the still-swinging crypt door to then deposit her suitcases onto the tomb's stone floor. This female vampire next caroled, "Blondie bear, I'm back!"

Complete silence.

Looking around in growing confusion at the crypt Spike had called home with Drusilla for most of his time spent in Sunnydale, Harmony saw nothing there but the disheveled furnishings salvaged from the local junkyard: a bed, sofa, tv set, lamp, stove, and microwave. What there _wasn't_ consisted of a snarky, pomaded former London poet with fantastic cheekbones.

"Oh, poo," grumbled Harmony. "He must be out somewhere else in town."

She took a step towards the crypt doorway, thinking about leaving to go look for Spike, only to nervously halt at seeing how the darkness out there was already beginning to brighten. Harmony scuttled forward to slam shut the door against the oncoming sunlight which wouldn't do her skin any good at all.

Actually, turning into a charcoal briquette was not part of Harmony's latest plan. Nope, no way, even after the whole Los Angeles disaster of becoming that city's Big Bad. It'd been one failure after the other, with nobody taking her seriously afterwards, those meanies! She'd finally decided to return to Sunnydale and start all over there with Spike again. Maybe he'd managed to get out that thingie in his head preventing her Spikey-Wikey from being the brutal monster she knew and yearned for. Yessss…soon, the other Hellmouth demons would fear and obey the deadly pair know as Harmony and Spike!

Humming happily to herself, Harmony went off to scrub away the flecks of blood on her chin, the result of her last meal. Honestly, she should get a medal for eating that trucker who'd picked up a pretty hitchhiker on the LA city limits and revealed himself to be a serial killer out to rape, torture, and murder his latest victim. It had been really entertaining all those miles driven on the freeway north, listening to his sick gloating, all while pretending to be terrified out of her wits.

Of course, when they parked on a deserted road outside Sunnydale, _he_ hadn't enjoyed the slightest what happened after that girl's face turned into a gruesome ridged mask and she grew fangs.

* * *

"C'mon!" Jay hissed at Carlos, holding the kitchen back door open.

Obviously unsure of what they were doing, Carlos at last gloomily shrugged and followed his best friend outside into the night. He'd really have preferred to be fast asleep on his cot in Buffy's basement, but Jay had continuously badgered Carlos until the son of Cruella de Vil had given in.

Just like back home on the Isle of the Lost. How long was it now, him and Jay sneaking out at night together to snoop around on the island? Years, at least. This time, though, they were in another dimension, and Carlos was not happy about it at all.

He grouched at Jay while they were walking down the street sidewalk, "Are you sure this is such a good idea? Xander said his hometown's one dangerous place."

Jay impatiently replied, "I'm bored, okay? We've been hanging around all day with Mal, Evie, and her dad's friends. I want to check out things here for myself, so what's the harm?"

Carlos began to open his mouth, except Jay overrode him with, "Besides, how dangerous could it possibly be when a girl barely bigger than Mal's mom goes out on her own every night like she did fifteen minutes ago?"

Jay definitely had a point there, Carlos conceded. He still warned, "We don't stay out too long, all right? I want to get back before anyone misses us."

"Fair enough," Jay grunted. He pointed down the street. "The shops are that way. Might be one with an unlocked door or some open window…"

Carlos just rolled his eyes.

* * *

Sprawled face-down on the disgusting floor of his bar behind the counter, a cowering Willy the Snitch with his arms wrapped protectively over his head listened to the Alibi Room being destroyed in screams and shattering bottles by another blonde lady lunatic.

Why the fuck was someone stupid enough to tell that girl vampire who'd just walked in and asked about Spike how he'd been killed in the decisive battle two nights ago between the Slayer and Glory?

Worryingly, there was next the crash of his demon tavern's front door being ripped off its hinges and thrown back with immense force into the barroom to take out a couple more customers, by the sound of it. This was accompanied by the dwindling noise of feminine sobbing.

Willy didn't care. He was intact, and that was all that mattered for now. Reaching out without looking, Willy grabbed a bottle of the good stuff where it'd been stored under the counter, and took a good, long slug from there. Looks like he'd be closing early.

* * *

Standing on Jay's shoulders, Carlos tested the shop's second story alley window, with no luck. He looked down into his friend's face staring up. "Locked."

Sighing with real disappointment, Jay helped Carlos down onto the back street asphalt.

This ended with the white/black haired boy determinedly pointing his finger at the vizier's son, "That's enough, Jay. Let's go back to Buffy's house, like you promised."

"Fine, fine," Jay grumbled. "Maybe we'll do better tomorrow night."

Already several steps away heading towards the alley mouth, Carlos just threw up his hands in irritation over hearing that. A few quick strides brought Jay alongside Carlos as they went past a dumpster shoved up against the alley's opposite wall.

Stepping out into the sidewalk, both Jay and Carlos froze at the abrupt, bowel-loosening growl coming from behind them. Slowly turning around, the boys saw a pair of red orbs at thigh level in the darkness between the dumpster side and the building wall.

Unhurriedly moving forwards, the scarlet orbs revealed them to be a pair of eyes…in a massive, ratty-furred skull having more teeth than a shark and attached to an equally huge canine body.

From a suddenly dry set of lips, Carlos croaked, "Good doggy?"

* * *

Harmony wandered through Sunnydale's business district, weeping at every step. Her Spike was gone! Forever and ever! Dust in the wind!

She was so mournful that Harmony paid absolutely no attention to the approaching screams, running footsteps, and pursuing howl. Not until the point when Harmony reached the corner ahead, only to be bowled over by the tremendous collision of somebody sprinting at their top speed while half-carrying someone else and looking over their shoulder.

Tumbling together in a ball of flailing limbs, Harmony recovered much faster than the others in staring straight into the open, saliva-dripping jaws of a hellhound almost within arm's reach.

Harmony was in absolutely _no_ mood for this now, even the teensiest bit. She instantly went into game face, showing every single fang in a silent warning that if it took another step at her, SHE WAS GONNA BITE OFF THAT STUPID THING'S WHOLE HEAD!

Promptly recognizing an even worse predator than itself, the hellhound recoiled backwards in terror, whirled around, and took to its heels with whimpered yelps until it disappeared from sight.

A gasping, "Hey, honey, that was great!" came from behind Harmony right afterwards. Flinching in surprise at this professed admiration, the vampire shifted back into her human form and rolled over…only to wind up on her hands and knees nearly touching her now-smooth forehead with one prime hunk of hot young maleness.

Jay was in the exact same posture on the ground, fighting to recover his breath after that latest accident. He didn't know exactly what'd happened to scare off that monster, but he was really grateful to…a truly gorgeous, homina-homina, example of girlhood!

Acting as anyone who knew him well would've expected, Jay shifted his body ahead to put his face right into the girl's beautiful countenance…and he stole a kiss from her.

Harmony's eyes widened at the warm lips pressed onto hers, but she didn't move.

In fact, it was only until a snarled, "Jay, will you knock it off and help me up?" came from the last of their small group did that unknown guy stop kissing Harmony. Much to her disappointment.

Jay reluctantly looked over at where Carlos sitting on the ground and holding his leg at the point where that other boy's pants leg was torn and bloody. Only now realizing how much trouble they might be in now, Jay scrambled up onto his feet and rushed over to assist Carlos as requested.

Hanging onto Jay while his bitten leg kept on throbbing in agony, Carlos watched as the girl his friend just crashed into also got up, distractedly rubbing at her mouth. Carlos groaned under his breath at Jay's concerned, "Are you okay, honey?"

Excuse me! Who was the one with the leg gnawed to the bone! If it didn't hurt so much, he'd give Jay a good hard kick in the crotch. Carlos grumpily heard then the girl reply, "Sure, I'm all right. Better get your friend patched up, though."

Looking down as if he'd momentarily forgotten about him at Carlos glaring back, Jay returned his gaze at the girl smiling at him. Wow. Just, just wow!

Carlos noisily cleared his throat. That finally got Jay helping along a limping Carlos, though the bigger boy couldn't help staring over his shoulder at her watching them leave. He was inspired to call at the girl, "I'm Jay! Gonna be around here for a while; maybe we'll see each other again, huh?"

The girl kept on smiling at him, which was great. Even better, she answered, "I'm Harmony. I'll look forward to it!"

Harmony stood where she was, unexpected tingles running throughout her demon's body. Oooo, she could just see Jay as her latest minion, dressed in nothing but harem pants, fanning her with a big…fan, painting her toenails, and feeding her grapes while she lounged on one of those flat sofas with the other end sticking up—

Blinking out of her exciting fantasy, Harmony saw with her vampiric vision how Jay and what's-his-name were well down the block. Hey, why not follow them? Stay out of sight along the way, and see where they were living. Then maybe one of these nights, knock on their door and see if they knew about not inviting strangers into their house—

Harmony giggled. She promptly carried out this plan, slipping into the through alley out onto the opposite street and listening with amusement while strolling along to those guys at the next block over bickering away at how it was all Jay's fault tonight.

It was a little too loud, though, that argument, Harmony frowned. Didn't they have any idea about Sunnydale's nightlife? Like, say, those two other dummies ahead who'd just come out of a sewer manhole, heads cocked as if they were also listening. And then, they purposefully began following—

Like _hell._

Dashing forwards with all of her supernatural speed, Harmony caught up with and tore off the heads of the caught-unawares vampires with a tremendous yank by both hands. Standing there in the descending dustclouds, a satisfied Harmony brushed off her fingers. Mr. Scrumptious was hers, see? Even if she had to kill everybody else in Sunnydale!

Holding that thought firmly in her mind, Harmony continued to shadow those two guys ignorant of their monstrous protector. Unfortunately, as the neighborhood changed from commercial into residential, the vampire soon began to regard her location with increasing alarm. Oh, no, they couldn't possibly be heading there—

When Jay and Carlos eventually sneaked back into Buffy Summers' house, they left behind a few streets away a vampire gnashing her teeth with sheer fury. Why was the universe being so nasty to sweet, little Harmony Kendall? Well, she wasn't going to take this! That Slayer bitch from Sunnydale High, she'd stolen Spike from Harmony? Just for that, Harmony was gonna steal Buffy's guest with that adorable bad-boy grin and turn him into her slave for unlife!

Just you wait and see!

* * *

Cracking open an eye, Jay gazed up at the basement ceiling where a ray of early sunlight from one of the air vents was brightening the gloom. He stretched out on his cot and prepared for another forty winks until breakfast time, a happy smile on his face. It looked like a good day ahead. He'd ask Buffy if she knew about a girl here named Harmony. After that, see how things went.

Even Carlos wouldn't be too grouchy, either. Just after they'd returned to the basement, that puzzled boy showed to Jay the fact the bite mark on his leg was now completely gone and didn't even hurt any more. Weird, that was for sure, but at least it meant they could keep quiet about their little adventure last night.

Rolling over onto his side on the cot, Jay called out to an unseen Carlos on the other cot behind him before closing his eyes, "Morning, dude."

"Rrrrrrrrrrr…," sleepily growled the dozing hellhound sprawled out on his own cot.

Jay's eyes snapped wide open in pure disbelief at what he'd just heard from back there.

* * *

Author's Note: And that's it so far for this story! Maybe I'll come up with something more when the muse inspires.

I just saw _Descendants 2_ and unfortunately all I can say is "Meh." The first movie was definitely better, and it proves that you shouldn't stint on Kristin Chenoweth.


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